It's been a while since I've been here. Wordpress isn't working at the moment and I've been hand-writing in my journal alot lately. I also just want to type soooo I've stumbled back into the Dland.
I am currently listening to blink-182 and it's funny how a place like this combined with music from the past can just take you right back to being 18 and wild. Insert Henry David Thoreau quote about relating to times here.
Reading some of these past diaries is pretty comical though. Lol, i was such a little boy crazy lady. but I'm certain I wrote about that to escape what I was truly dealing with.
How could a person come to a diary....a place where you are supposed to unmask and become truly unhinged only to hide behind bullshit like boy problems?
I mean some of the entries are deeper than that but most of them were just scratching the surface on the real problems I was dealing with.
and much of those problems all derive from fear.
fear of rejection, fear of being alone, fear of not being enough, fear of the unknown. fear fear fear. such a scaredy cat.
and though I no longer seek validation from the loins of other people..I still have some of those fears. I've been working through them via yoga, nutrient therapy, reading, a more balanced lifestyle etc... but there is just something about journaling online that I feel really helps me. Unlike hand-writing...the words just flow so much faster, so fluidly.
I actually came here as a result of listening to/watching this Aubrey Marcus podcast on the Game of Life w/Erick Godsey. I loved how they compared life to a video game and outlined 10 quests/boss battles/weapons that we all go through. They essentially give a road map/playbook to use to help navigate through life. It helps to provide clear symbolic progression and give us a feeling of growth. Of course we know life isn't exactly like a video game and healing the soul isn't a linear progression. Sometimes you've leveled up a few times and then the next week you're back to level 1....re-learning some shit...or in most cases unlearning bad habits.
I always seem to get stuck at
Quest 6 - Know True Love.
Boss Battle: Fear
Weapon: Love
I'm working on it...I know that fear is an illusion. I know that love is all there is. My damn ego just gets all up in the way. so I am going to make a fear list and tackle this shit with LOVE!
<3
We'll see if I do it weekly or monthly...for now baby steps.
1:52 a.m. - 2018-09-17
Recent entries:
Stockholm Syndrome - 2018-09-17
just a t.a.d. bit further - 2015-10-13
Isn't it sad to know - 2014-04-03
Unexpected plot twist. - 2013-12-28
Sadness. - 2013-12-05
My profile
Archives
Notes
Diaryland
Random
RSS
others:
laydeejane
sexual-b
adarkshadow
leftcoast
xself-imagex
thecity
nickoleycole
onelilwitch
billiesbabe7
allhopeslost
punkedupqt