even when you're near, nothing is going to change.
now i'm pretty sure i'm going to have this baby, and today paul's down and it really upsets me that seeing me tonight is not as important as getting high and drunk is... i wish i could be as carefree as that but I'M HAVING A CHILD and i need to grow up. and take twice the responsibility for the mistake i didn't create by myself.
i'm starting to think, i'm not glad paul wants to be a part of the baby's life. i don't want someone who does drugs all the time and drinks all the time around me or my family. it just seems immature.
sometimes i really think back and wish i wouldn't have cheated on john, because when i told him i didn't want to smoke or anything anymore he gladly quit with me. and he asked for permission to go out or have a few drinks. and i totally took that for granted...
btw, i'm 3 months pregnant and 124 pounds.
AND I SAW MEREDITH TODAY!! but shes dumb and was biting her nails in the car and wouldnt look my way. haha LOVE YOU
12:35 a.m. - 2008-10-13
Recent entries:
Lose another day here, lose another year here... - 2013-04-19
and that's just how I feel - 2012-11-02
- - 2012-05-16
the truth is in the unknown. - 2012-05-08
FAQs - 2012-02-09
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