Of all the things to say to me
Sweet versions of let's wait and see.
If I couldn't anticipate the near
This might work out for you here.
Not in this lifetime, not today, not now.
If only there was some way, somehow.
But I won't make promises I won't keep
In the end the cut won't feel so deep.
I tried to save me from myself,
But I think I might need more than help.
There's no happiness at the end of this rhyme.
I can't even say it was a good last time.
-
"So maybe I'm a masochist, I try to run but I don't ever want to leave"
Isn't it so sick?
That I have this someone who is so amazing to me and treats me perfectly
And I know that he is the next chapter in this life. He may teach me the
the next life lesson that I need to learn.
For I understand why things turned so evil in the scheme of things
With tony. I believe. However, for some reason, I can't get past all of it.
Jokingly, "a" called me stupid. And I told him not to..
It frightened me that I can't seperate that word from all the negativity
That was going on around me, everytime I heard that word used in the past
Two years. I can't recall how many times I was called a stupid bitch. Or
Just plain stupid for the smallest of mistakes. It just has sunk into my
Memory. All of the arguments and physical fights for me standing up for
Myself when I was tired of being called stupid and crazy and whatever else
That was the flavor of the day. I just wonder if it will ever go away, if
I will ever forgive myself for putting myself through it.
...To be continued
-
Recent entries:
Lose another day here, lose another year here... - 2013-04-19
and that's just how I feel - 2012-11-02
- - 2012-05-16
the truth is in the unknown. - 2012-05-08
FAQs - 2012-02-09
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