it's like watching yourself fall apart and wanting to stop it, oh but you're not in control.
and you never were.
so in about the past two days all i've gotten from him is a
'wow that pic is hot and what does ur pm mean' and i answer and it's not until i'm off the computer and 2 hours later that i get a text at 2 am saying hey. when im asleep.
so i text him in the morning please text me when u get the chance and nothing. and still nothing.
maybe he'll text me today. what high hopes i have.
tell me how pathetic it is to wait up every night til 1am when i have to wake up at 7 for work just for a chance to talk to him if even for five minutes.
what do you do when you can feel you're losing someone but they don't realize it so they aren't making an effort or they just aren't worried cause you've been there all this time waiting and fuck if you leave now cause if you had that in you it'd have been done a long time ago.
i think what i'm scared of most is that when i see him on sept 6, i'll realize he has changed and i'll hate him. and sept 6th is such a special day...cause it's the day this tragedy began. a year...it's crazy how the time flies.
last night when i was thinking about all this i envisioned it all over again and it felt the same. intense and real like nothing was impossible. and it's true everything is POSSIBLE, but that doesn't mean things will happen.
i don't know where i'm at in my own head, all i know my life without you feels as empty as the promises you made.
8:59 a.m. - 2008-08-22
Recent entries:
Lose another day here, lose another year here... - 2013-04-19
and that's just how I feel - 2012-11-02
- - 2012-05-16
the truth is in the unknown. - 2012-05-08
FAQs - 2012-02-09
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