Sometimes it all makes sense and i feel like one day i will be able to breathe. Then there are times when I lose focus and remember that in reality, for me to accept and fully understand his decision will not happen.
Without him, I feel lost in a sense. I feel like I don't know who I am or what I want anymore. With him I knew exactly what I wanted and how happy I would be with just him.
And I know that I shouldn't hold on to the what if's, nor should I keep trying. But something in my heart is saying not to give up that still there is a chance.
And I'm wondering if I should go to New Mexico again since it will probably be a while until he comes back to Bay City. My better judgement says not to, but when do I ever listen to that.
1:50 p.m. - 2009-01-15
Recent entries:
Lose another day here, lose another year here... - 2013-04-19
and that's just how I feel - 2012-11-02
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the truth is in the unknown. - 2012-05-08
FAQs - 2012-02-09
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