2012-05-16 | 12:19 a.m.

-

Everything I care for, I destroy.
It's a hiccup of character, apparentally.
I just really hope it doesn't ruin what I have found.

I'm hoping that the memories and good times will help the person I have hurt see through it.

After all, he was the one that said there is no way to not argue with someone you spend so much time with.
And we never argue.
Things are never bad.
But I. fucked. up.
bad.

Cause when I do fuck up, it's always BAD.
There's no in between.
With that kinda shit, it's black and white.
I'm either all good, or bad.
Then I realize it and try to be all good again.

At least I have a conscience?
That's gotta count for something...

And the fact that I was initially trying to do the right thing for a fellow woman (regardless of the situation that I am "with" her ex...) I felt obligated to tell her the truth on a different subject. And she used it against me.

Fuckin smart bitch man....

I will give her that, I've never been so outsmarted. Out of everybody to go to, she came to me...
And I'm so naive that I fell for it....

But then, I did something else REALLY bad. And probably made karma kick my ass even more. So there's no justice in injustice....

I guess i just needed to vent....
I don't see him that ruthless as to toy with my emotions this bad, tell me not to think so hard then really break things off...

I think he is just fuckin with me enough to make me feel really bad about what i did....and he just may need time...

I don't see why he would not just tell me things are off if that was the case..

I don't think he is that sick enough..
I hope he is not that sick enough.
But if he is, at least I know I'm not missing out on anything...

but he seems like the perfect combination between tony and allen that I really want more of him...

WHYYYYY did i catch feelings...

I suck.

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<A HREF="120516_38.html">-</A> - 2012-05-16<BR> <A HREF="120508_89.html">the truth is in the unknown.</A> - 2012-05-08<BR> <A HREF="120209_9.html">FAQs</A> - 2012-02-09<BR> <A HREF="120103_88.html">For the time being...</A> - 2012-02-02<BR> <A HREF="120103_88.html">2012?</A> - 2012-01-03<BR>

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